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Infirmary Tales

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Infirmary Tales was a play produced at the Liverpool Everyman Theatre during it's 19th season in Christmas of 1983. Described as "an evening of agonised glee," contributor Phil Whitchurch was inspired for the play after slipping on ice in a 1982 New Year's celebration and breaking his collar bone.

After coming out of the emergency room, he announced his idea for a musical, and local writers were asked to contribute.

Of course, Brian Jacques was one of them, along with Bob Eaton, Beryl Martindale, George Costigan, Dennis Wainwright and Alan Bleasdale.



  • Director: Bob Eaton
  • Set Design: Sue Mayes
  • Costume Design: Sue Mayes

Running Order

  • Sister Cunningham demonstrates the Indian Shirt Trick
  • Infirmary Tales: a Musical Welcome to Casualty
  • Scars by Phil Whitchurch
  • The Docker’s Tale by Brian Jacques
  • A Demonstration of Surgical Elastic Relationships by Beryl Martindale
  • The Fowler’s Tale by George Costigan
  • At the Op by Bob Eaton
  • Removal of Razor Blades from the Stomach
  • Tommy’s Tale by Dennis Wainwright
  • Hypnosis in medicine
  • In the Bleak Midwinter by Bob Eaton
  • Doctors and Nurses, a poem by Bob Eaton
  • Only Here on a Message by Alan Bleasdale

The Docker’s Tale

Brian Jacques' play The Docker's Tale is a short, 12-page comedy.


  • Ted
  • Scoops
  • Chris
  • Sister
  • Policewoman
  • Ada


After Chris is accidentally injured while drinking, he schemes with his pal Scoops to pretend that the event actually happened at work, and attempts to take advantage of their union, led by Ted.

The Sister tries to provide medical treatment to Chris, who protests the need for a shot.

In the process, a law enforcement officer arrives to investigate the accident, as does Ada, Chris' wife.

When Ada insists that the Sister should be allowed to inject Chris with a needle, his pants are removed, and it is revealed that he's stolen from his workplace.

The policewoman swiftly moves to arrest Chris for his crimes.

This item was featured in the Redwall Collectors Community series.

Early works of Brian Jacques

Get Yer Wack: A Liverpool Anthology | Yennoworrameanlike | According to Jacques: A Mersey Bible | Scouse with the Lid Off | Jakestown: My Liverpool | Brian Jacques Meets Paddy Kelly | Brown Bitter, Wet Nellies and Scouse | Infirmary Tales | Wordplays 1

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