John-E

The loopiest otter! Ever! (ie, me)

Species:	Sea Otter
Place of Origin:	Mossflower Country
Gender:	Male
Weapon:	Sword, sling
Death:	I'm not dead...am I?

Books
Appears:	Vidny Shadow.
Mentioned:	Kasspian's Bite

Hi!Edit

Hello, and welcome to my page! Hope you like it!

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John-E - Death to all my foes!:
TALK - Friday 25 May 2012

Cross me and die, foul scum of my enemies!

John-E  Tripes and taters! Mossflowerrrr!! 17:39, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

John-E talk contribs edits email

PS If you are mad, then please come here

PPS Martin2, this means YOU!

PPPS I'm also the admin for the Creations Wiki and the Easy Work Wiki

Announcements Edit

NONE ... yet

Books I have read Edit

This user owns a copy of Lord Brocktree.

This user owns a copy of Martin the Warrior.

This user owns a copy of Mossflower.

This user owns a copy of The Legend of Luke.

This user owns a copy of Outcast of Redwall.

This user owns a copy of Mariel of Redwall.

This user owns a copy of The Bellmaker.

This user owns a copy of Salamandastron.

This user owns a copy of Redwall.

This user owns a copy of Mattimeo.

This user owns a copy of Pearls of Lutra.

This user owns a copy of The Long Patrol.

This user owns a copy of Marlfox.

This user owns a copy of Taggerung.

This user owns a copy of Triss.

This user owns a copy of Loamhedge.

This user owns a copy of Rakkety Tam.

This user owns a copy of High Rhulain.

This user owns a copy of Eulalia!.

This user owns a copy of Doomwyte.

This user owns a copy of The Sable Quean.

Fan Fic updatesEdit

Sign up here for updates on my various fanfics. Each fanfic has a riddle for a spoiler. Once you have your answer, post it here

Vidny ShadowEdit

UpdatedEdit

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SpoilersEdit

When does 19 - 1 = 20?

A Murdress's BratEdit

UpdatedEdit

Sign here for updates

I'd love an update John-E! Pirate Vixen 101 19:10, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

SpoilersEdit

Hickamore, hackamore, on the King's kitchen door. All the Kings horses and all the King's men. Can't drive hickamore, hackamore, off the King's kitchen door.

Kasspian's BiteEdit

UpdatedEdit

Sign here for updates

SpoilersEdit

What do you add to nineteen to make twenty?

Lunatics (Self-Made and Driven)Edit

Definition of a Self-Made LunaticEdit

A Self-Made Lunatic is someone who deliberately drives themselves mad, and in some cases, off the rails, over the cliff and into the river. In short, a completely nutty fruitcake with the average brain capacity of a flea eating peas and apricots. I am both, as are many other people with bananas on their heads.

Definition of a Driven LunaticEdit

If you don't drive yourself off the rails, but someone pushes you, you are a Driven Lunatic. These kinds are rarely appreciated for the scope they give others, but for their inherent ability to whistle whilst diving off the fishmongers stall and into the pavement. It is easy to be one of these, as you only have to show me you can perform the above feat - if someone pushes you.

The Mental DocterEdit

To qualify as one of my patients, you must define your symptoms whilst dancing an Penny Whistle. If you end up on your head doing an impression of a demented cockroach, you have passed the examination and must now enter the Loony Bin for People who can perform Demented Cockroach Impressions.

The Loony BinEdit

The Loony Bin for People who can perform Demented Cockroach ImpressionsEdit

Can you perform Demented Cockroach impressions? No? Get out. Yes? Alright, you can go here. NOW GET OUT BEFORE I HAVE TO PUSH MYSELF OFF THE PROVERBIAL FISHMONGER'S SHOP!!!!!! THREE MONTHS IN HOSPITAL IS BOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I am going insane. Here's Top Gear . . . flumph

The Loony Bin for People with Banana-Skin HatsEdit

If you have a bananananananana-skin hat, then you have come to the right place. Simply type your name on THIS PAGE, and I will send you some amusing images of stuff you will like (banananananas)

SaniesEdit

If you are sane, then you fit in here. If you fit in here, you are wasting my time. Get out.

I said get out

I said GET OUT

AAAAAAAAAARRGHHHHH!!! (Mental Doctors whack me on the head with a large herring) aaaaaaahhh.

A Strange Place for People with Bananas on their HeadsEdit

Rotating CCTV CamerasEdit

Me!Edit

Hiya! I am Johnny Edward, but my otterfriends call me John-E or just John. I am an otter, and if you want to visit, my home is under the hill east of the ford by the toppled oak. If you want me, sit on the top of the hill, and chuck a stone down the little hole.

By the way, if I've tried to bash your brains out with my sling, or behead you with my sword, then the best advice I can give you is don't come near my hill.

JohnnyEdit

Extended Family of Johnny.

Grath Longfletch--+--Inbar Trueflight

                                 |                                                                              Tiria Wildlough--------+--------Leatho Shellhound
                                 |                                                                                                            |
                                 |                                                                                                            |
           Missing Generations         Zaran the Black--+--Skipper Rorgus                                         |

| | |

| Rorzan |

| | |

| Missing Generations ------------------------------------------------------+

| |

Yarro Trueflight------+------Honeydew Bulrush

Me!

My shipsEdit

Fireclaw

{{{image}}}
Ship

Distinguishing Features:	Long dragon's head prow, three sails, overhanging cabins on each side.
Captain(s):	Me!
Destruction:	N/A

Books
Appears in:	None

Saffron Devil

{{{image}}}
Ship

Distinguishing Features:	Large square yellow sails, crocus bulb nest
Captain(s):	Me!
Destruction:	N/A

Books
Appears in:	None

My hill Edit

As you may know, my hill is rather large, and the reasons are this:

I have to live in it
I have to store one medium-sized ship in it
I need guest quarters, a forge and a weapons room. Well, where else would I keep and make my weapons?
It's the same as Rangval's Rogue's Retreat
I need a large, cheese-shaped hole for my insane pet of a monkey, who - unless placed in this containment zone - would go madder than a hatter and attack me with my own carrot peeler.

I like it large, because it means that I can live comfortably in it.

Other unknown things about are that:

It has a large lake underground
It has two caverns jutting out beneath the River Moss, one that I use as a cell; and the other a cell for a behemoth of an insane fish.
The fish (a pike) (modelled on Stormfin) has an appetite the size of The Abyss

My favouritesEdit

Here is a list of some of my favorite characters, places, and other such things.

Favorite Squirrel: Rangval the Rogue
Favorite Badger Lord: Sunflash the Mace
Favorite Badger Mother: Badgermum Cregga
Favorite Hare: Captain Derron Fortindom
Favorite Otter: Finnbarr Galedeep
Favorite Hedgehog: Benjo Tipps
Favorite Mouse: Martin the Warrior
Favorite Mole: Foremole
Favorite Shrew: Log-a-Log Togey
Favorite Vole: Yoofus Lightpaw
Favorite Bat: Lord Cayvear
Favorite Vermin: Rasconza
Favorite Reptile: Firl
Favorite Bird: Tergen
Favorite Single Species Creature: Kweekum (Legend of Luke)
Favorite Fish: Stormfin
Favorite Ship: Pearl Queen
Favorite Quote: "We all chose our different paths. Some are born gentle, others are destined to be warriors." -Rakkety Tam MacBurl
Favorite Places: Redwall Abbey, Salamandastron, my hillock

ArtEdit

Requests Edit

I am one of the Redwall Artists and if you post a description here, I will draw you a pic.

Remember, post here.

Other Edit

If you want to draw me, then here's the info;

Name: John-E
Species: Sea Otter
Weapons: One sword, a throwing knife (middle), a chopping knife (top), a stabbing knife (bottom), and a brown sling and green stonepouch
Clothing: Brown breeches, green top (same as slingpouch), two belts (around waist; around chest)
Hair: Light brown
Skin: Dark brown
Other: Tattoo of eel on right paw, long tail

If you want to draw any of my other characters, go here