Brigadier Barty

aka The Bloody Brigadier

  • I live in a cardboard box in the middle of Antarctica
  • I was born on February 11
  • My occupation is Displaying the glory of the rising Penguin Empire upon our pitiful world
  • I am a LOLpenguin of legendary prowess
  • Brigadier Barty

    Redwall Abbey has seen many, many foes in its time, from Cluny and his horde to a band of Water rats working under a scheming Marlfox under cover of night.

    But this certainly begs the question-

    Of all the enemies seen, who has by far posed the single greatest threat to the Abbey of Redwall?

    You may judge this by numbers, intelligence, quality, sheer luck, or other factors you find important.

    Submit your answers below and I'll create a list.

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  • Brigadier Barty

    This is a oneshot in which one unfortunate Redwaller finally witnesses the true power of a viral song.

    This was inspired by the viral YouTube video [1]. Make sure to check it out!

    Anyways, I thank you dear reader for taking the time to look upon my pitiful scrawlings. I hope to astound, stun and amaze. Enjoy!

    Colonel Montclarcy McClane of the 7th Battalion of the Long Patrol of Salamandastron strode up to one of the groups of the battle-hardened defenders of Redwall, his ivory-topped cane tucked beneath his arm and his brushed mustachios blowing in the wind.

    Snapping to attention and clicking his heels together, the hare proudly saluted the four Redwallers, a mole, a squirrel, and two otters.

    “Smashing work out there, you courageous chaps! If I…

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  • Brigadier Barty

    The Lord Maw

    February 22, 2014 by Brigadier Barty


    The mink, moonlight dancing off his dark fur, pressed the cold blade against Colonel Collin Mulberry's throat. The elderly hare gave a grunt, trying to pull him off, and the mink's smile widened, displaying stunningly white fangs.

    Putting all his weight upon his victim, immobilizing him, the mink chuckled. It was a cheery, carefree kind of sound, reminiscent of fine wines and the company of friends. It could not have been farther from the truth.

    "Ye look tired, matey. Ye've fought long an' 'ard, widout food. Lemme give ye yore rest."

    With a flick of one muscular paw, he carved a straight line across the hare's throat. With a cold shudder, the last hare of the Long Patrol lay back against the cold beach rock, and died.

    Licking the blood o…

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  • Brigadier Barty

    There have been many instances of cannibalism in the Redwall Universe, or at least a few references to the practice.

    Take Folgrim the otter, who eats the flesh of vermin, or the White Horde, who feast upon their fallen foes.

    But Folgrim was insane, and the White Horde were barbarians coming from a far-off land where cannibalism was an every-day practice, so they have excuses.

    But there were also moments when eating a beast that isn't from your own species seemed normal, like something all flesh-eating creatures did.

    As an example, I give you Cluny the Scourge, who in the beginning of Redwall wishes his cart had stopped as he passed a field, believing that the two rabbits within the field looked like tasty morsels. Another example would be the n…

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  • Brigadier Barty


    January 17, 2012 by Brigadier Barty

    Spin among the treetops,

    Dash among the glade,

    Swords swing, arrows fly,

    Blood splatters, beasts cry,

    As I sing this lullaby.

    I’ll tell you of the fox dance,

    Where one makes two and three,

    Where green turns to red upon twice a turn,

    A wing’s length away.

    Listen well at night,

    To the hawk’s cry in the glade,

    When wars are wars,

    And beasts are beasts,

    Of warriors and moonlit blades, both mighty and true.

    Spin among the treetops,

    Dash among the glades,

    Hold thy breathe and watch the night,

    As beasts of black do wing

    Across a moonless sky.

    Now come a little closer,

    Hold your paw against my heart,

    And watch in wonder

    As my soul and body do part.

    ~Shiphra the seer

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