The Saga of Fae Bowsong
- 1 The Saga of Fae Bow Song
- 2 Book One: Bowsong and Redwall
- 2.1 Chapter One
- 2.2 Chapter Two
The woodlands during a storm were not a place for a squirrelmaid to be, as Fae Bowsong found out while scurrying through the damp clumps of leaves in the swirling wind. She leaped gracefully from bough to bough, searching for a place to land up and stay for the night. Her keen pale blue eyes soon picked out a hiding space in the hollow of a nearby elm. Sliding in, she lay upon the dry leaves packed inside and peeked out, watching for the bird of prey who was chasing her. The frustrated screech of a falcon greeted her long ears as she ducked down and attached an arrow to the bow she carried. The big bird landed right outside the hollow, gripping the sturdy br…
Don't Mess With Redwall Abbey
This is a song that is sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel. If you haven't read all the Redwall books, beware, there be spoilers afoot in here. I hope you enjoy it! Here goes!
Verse 1
Cluny’s crushed by a bell,
Tsarmina’s in the well.
Slagar drowned, Gabool’s down
Feragho got owned.
Klitch committed suicide
Badrang’s chillin’ with the tide
Foxwolf failed, no more Veil
Swartt is food for crows
Martin took out Ublaz
Just like the book says
Damug’s dead, Mokkan’s head’s
Tastier than Reeses
Daskar’s lashed to the wheel
Trunn’s back is now an eel
Rath was stoned, Kurda’s own
Sword cut her to pieces
Chorus
Don’t Mess With Redwall Abbey.
All the Vermin leaders thought that they could beat her
Don’t Mess With Redwall Abbey
They never learned th…
Gruntan Kurdly's Just Desserts
What would happen if the Brownrat horde decided to give Kurdley a wee surprise for breakfast? Read on and please don't die laughing. I could get sued.
The Brownrat horde were getting sick of toting round the fat rat everybeast called Gruntan Kurdley. The litter bearers were especially sick of the enormous weight of the litter pressed into their backs every time of the season. The rest of the horde followed behind the litter, talking amongst themselves. One horde member muttered to another.
- "I tell ye mate, ole Kurdley's heavier than an oak nowadays. 'Ow in the name of Vulpiz did this moron get to be Chief round 'ere?" His friend shook his head.
- "Wonders never cease, eh mate? To answer yore question I have no clue. 'E ain't even all that scary…
My Heart Is In The Highlands
- Over the seas
- Some will agree
- There is a land so grand
- Deep in the North
- Twixt taverns and port
- Lay the bonnie Highlands
- Winds blowing cold
- Through days of old
- When a ship of evil came
- And aboard that boat
- Came a big stoat
- Oh curse that vermin's bad name
- Our families slain
- To the villain's gain
- He took all our young ones away
- When northward arrived
- A warrior so fine
- Her name feared by the vermin of the the main
- This is the tale
- Of a night in the gale
- That brought the young lass to our land
- This story is true
- Her story's for you
- And other friends of the Highlands
-Song of Marinya
The Highlands were a place of great beauty to most creatures who could tolerate the harsh winter cold and winds. Nowadays it was a land ruled by the stoat named Plathe the Bane. He was bi…
Just Another Crossover
Author's Note: Hello everyone! I'ma back! I just thought that since I've been gone for such a long time, that I should entertain you with another parody. So this crossover parodies the exploits of Martin verses Tsarmina the Cat Who Hates Water. Enjoy!
- It was a long midsummer's day and the sun was ruthlessly berating the wildcat Tsarmina. She had been particularly upset today as Gingivere, her adorable brother, had escaped and as a joke, Gonff the mousetheif had stolen her rugs so she couldn't destroy them anymore (much to the relief of whoever supplied those rugs in the first place.) She patrolled the borders of her castle as the Skipper and his crew would shoot water balloons at her whenever she’d cross over and she wondered how much longe…