The Warlord Guide: What and What NOT to Do For the Aspiring Conqueror #4: The Company You Keep
Hello, everyone out there who is still out there. On a whim I decided to check out this site again and read through my old blog posts for the nostalgic value. This series here was definitely my defining moment on this site, and I did have some neat insights, but I don't think I came up with enough.
I've come a long way as a writer since then, but my frustration with the ineptitude of Redwall Villains has stayed the same, or, if anything, intensified. I'm not sure if I really feel the initiative to continue this series, but I do have enough left in me to write another guide for all of you aspiring conqueror's out there.
After having read through my o…Read more >
The Warlord Guide 3, What and What NOT to Do For the Aspiring Conqueror: Torture
Hello, once again, you're favorite hyena themed villain enthusiast here with another exciting instalation of the Warlord Guide. Today I'm going to go over some of the most seen idiot moves within the Redwall Villain Corps. Some of these are shockingly stupid, so those of you with weak constitutions may not want to read on.
How many times have you heard, "Jus' cut 'is rations, loss of good food an' water is the best tongue loosener!"? I'll tell you: too many times. Starvation just doesn't cut it anymore. It was cool when it was new, but now we all realize that somehow a hero can survive up to five times longer than a villain without food, even Hares who can't see…
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WG2. What and What Not to do For the Aspiring Conqeror: The Rule of the House
Each and every place has a very specific way it works, here I will tell you how it works and more importantly, how to exploit it!
The crowd of redwallers were uproarious on what to do. Abbess/Abbot Whatever looked on in despair and nodded to Skipper/the Abbey Warrior/Hare/Badger Mother. The Skipper/the Abbey/Hare/Badger Mother stepped forward and banged on the table. "Sharrap! Your abbess/abbot has something to say!" The Abbot/Abbess nodded in a approval. "Thank you, so and so, now, to get down to business."
How many times have you read something like that? Well, what you may not be noticing is that the Abbot/Abbess is asserting his/her dominance over the abbey dwelle…
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As we all know a hero versus a villain is like a tank going up against a golf cart, no matter what happens, the villain will be destroyed. A villain succeeding is the same as a libretarion or independant party running for president, they could win, and the hero supporters take this as a valid point, but what they neglect to mention is that you have to do this this this and that. This is one of many examples you will see. This guide will walk through the biased world of Redwall and how YOU can work passed it.
There is no arguing with a badger in blood wrath, thats for sure. But what about the other ones? Martin the Warrior, Felldoh, Axtel Sturnclaw, the warrior mole from the new novel, The Sable Quean. These are all examples of animals who fal…
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THE REDWALL TOURNAMENT: BATTLE OF THE BEST OF THE BEST!
Thats right folks, now you can see you favorite redwall villains and heroes face off! BUT! There's a twist, it will be villains versus villains and heroes versus heroes, and the two greatest villains will face off against the two greatest heroes, each of these fights are taking place in Cavern Hole, completely flat nothing special about it room, for those who like the details! If you've ever seen that grudge match website, it will kind of be like that, myself and my friend Storkcommander (Not on redwall wiki sadly) will argue our points on the two combatants (We both have read the redwall series at least three times) then based on our conclusion, I will make a witty conclusion, then we…Read more >