Okay, let's just get over the fact that I'm an incorrigible romantic.

Here's the recipe for Romance in Redwall:

  • 1 part cheesy
  • 1 part oh-my-martin-I'm-blushing
  • 1 part AWWW THAT'S ADORABLE!!!

Add a pinch of playful otter teasing, a couple saucy comments, some (very) pink cheeks and you have yourself a lovely Romance a la Redwall!

Basically, all pairings in Redwall can be simmered down to a few categories:

1. YEAH WE LOVE EACH OTHER: the classic romance.

  • Matthias/Cornflower: Okay, so Cornflower is a super-flat character, and Matthias makes the classic bumbling young unimpressive mouse. But we definitely know they're in love - Matthias always blushes before her, Cornflower sleeps with her head on Matthias' shoulder, etc. But in the end, dying Abbot Mortimer tells Cornflower and Matthias to marry. Any hint of an arranged marriage there? I mean, they both love each other, but still...
  • Mattimeo/Tess: Not much hinting goes on here... there's a little bit of admiration on Mattimeo's part about Tess, and they seem to be pretty good friends, but who would know? ;) You do sort of sense that they're something between them, but it's not very obvious.
  • Gonff/Columbine: Now this is the funny couple. Gonff is making flirtatious comments about HER constantly, and Columbine pines for HIM every day. I like.
  • Broggle/Fwirl: There's Fwirl, the enchanting young doe-eyed orphan squirrelmaid, and Broggle the head-over-heels-in-love guy. Let your imagination do the work... or maybe not.
  • Tam/Armel: This, personally, is my favorite. There's blushing on both their parts, and a little denial. But in the end, it's otters who bring them together (Brookflow for Armel, and I think Skipper for Tam). Yeah. They're cute together.
  • Tarquin/Hon Rosie: This is interesting. Uncatchable Rosie and silly old Tarkers, wot! But Rosie likes the eccentric, and needless to say, Tarquin is all for Rosie. Though I must say 12 leverets is a bit bally excessive, doncha know.
  • Tammo/Pasque: Tammo, the young foolhardy/courageous runaway, and Pasque the pretty, gentle healer. This evokes Tam/Armel slightly, but there's not much meat in this one :)
  • Kersey/Ferdimond: Shallow somewhat, but the love is all (mostly) on Ferdy's part, I say.

2. SORRY DIDN'T WORK: broken hearts.

Let's just say Martin/Rose would be cute but it's not happening.

3. WHY NOT: potential pairings.

  • Mariel/Dandin: That is my favorite potential pairing, but they don't get married, and I don't see why. I mean, they travel alone. They're best friends. They're of the opposite gender, and they SLEEP NEXT TO EACH OTHER.
  • Tiria/Leatho: What could be better? A young warriormaiden who also happens to be queen, and the dashing "Robin Hood" who freed the slaves.
  • Song/Dann: I don't quite think this works, but everyone loves it.

4. LET'S BE UNIQUE: cross-species potential.

  • Veil/Bryony: Personally, I don't like it, but if there was to be a cross-species pairing, it would most likely be this one.
  • Brag/Saro: An otter and a squirrel, very interesting. However, seeing as they've been best friends for life and everything, it might work out...

5. DOOMWYTE LOVEFEST: BJ got a little wild here.

  • Bisky/Spingo: Bisky evidently is crushing on Spingo, and Spingo... well, I guess she views Bisky as a friend. I just find it kind of interesting that both are descendents of Gonff :)
  • Dwink/Perrit: I could see a little of this coming, but it wasn't too evident.
  • Skipper/Zaran: One comment - what, animals in Redwall can remarry now?

6. THE FLIRTS: self-explanatory.

  • Harebell and Co.: Aye, but they're warriormaids too, so it's okay.
  • Celandine and Trefoil: How did tough Felldoh fall foR THAT?
  • Treerose: She's just a jerk until the hares... yeah.

All in all, you can see my "descriptions" getting progressively shorter.

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