This is a song that is sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel. If you haven't read all the Redwall books, beware, there be spoilers afoot in here. I hope you enjoy it! Here goes!
Verse 1
Cluny’s crushed by a bell,
Tsarmina’s in the well.
Slagar drowned, Gabool’s down
Feragho got owned.
Klitch committed suicide
Badrang’s chillin’ with the tide
Foxwolf failed, no more Veil
Swartt is food for crows
Martin took out Ublaz
Just like the book says
Damug’s dead, Mokkan’s head’s
Tastier than Reeses
Daskar’s lashed to the wheel
Trunn’s back is now an eel
Rath was stoned, Kurda’s own
Sword cut her to pieces
Chorus
Don’t Mess With Redwall Abbey.
All the Vermin leaders thought that they could beat her
Don’t Mess With Redwall Abbey
They never learned their lesson
So they kept on messin’
Verse 2
Raga’s now a bullseye
Gulo lost his head and died
Felis’s mind became a prime
Target to an otter’s eye
Matthais cut the bellrope
Martin gave the woodlands hope
Thank the well where Slagar fell
For taking out that masked dope.
Mariel and Rawnblade
Helped get Gabool slain
Urthstripe met his lost kin
While beating Ferahgo’s face in
Martin killed Badrang
Finnbarr ended Nagru’s reign
Veil’s own daddy took him out
Swart’s kid was a smart mouth!
Chorus
Verse 3
Mad Eye’s fate thanks to a snake
Turned him into fishbait
Cregga throttled Warfang
Many beasts had Silth’s brood slain
Luke drowned with Vilu
Martin’s sad that he knew
Brocktree snapped Ungratt’s spine
A stoat slew Sawney from a pine
Triss fought blade to blade
Kurda tried to run away
But she tripped and her own blade
Sent her straight to Hellgates
Lonna shot Raga dead
Tam cut off Gulo’s head
Tiria the ottermaid
Shot Riggu with his starblade!
Chorus
Verse 3
All these villains got their own
Killed by badgers, mice, and moles
Taken out in splendid ways
Ending all their evil days
Otters, birds, hares, and voles
Drove out all the evil folk.
Badgers come from everywhere
Some leading packs of hares!
Wow-oh-wow…
Verse 4
Once again Redwall’s safe
Thanks to a mouse wraith
Martin’s ghost appears in those
Who protects The Abbey most.
Here comes a vermin band
Marching up the dusty path
Get the sword and Badger lord
Take out that Warlord!
Charge out of the gates!
Slay all the messmates!
Redwall’s saved hip hooray
Thank the fates for Martin’s blade!
Chorus 2
Don’t Mess With Redwall Abbey
All the Vermin leaders thought that they could beat her
Don’t Mess With Redwall Abbey
The good guys will restore peace
And have a giant feast, a feast, a feast, a feast…